However, I’m not convinced the fashion-and-more retailer has quite got its online checkout process licked. Just have a look at this bemusing range of delivery options:

(See this image full-size in a new window.)

It reminds me slightly of the Trainline’s bonkers ticket selection screen, which I wrote about way back in 2007. In any case, the options presented are confusing and unnecessary, particularly if you want to get your order in a hurry.

With six next-day delivery options to choose from, how do you tell which is best? This comparison chart is less-than-helpful, because each of the options has exactly the same columns ticked.

Rule number one of creating an online checkout process is to keep it as simple as possible. Adding complexity makes it harder for people to complete their order, meaning fewer people manage to get to the end of the process.

Sure, it’s good to offer some choice of delivery options, but too much choice creates uncertainty: how do you know which is the best option for you?

I think Chemical would do well to chop their bemusing range of delivery services down to three: standard, guaranteed next-day and guaranteed Saturday. If they did, I bet they’d see a decrease in the number of visitors dropping out before completing their online orders.

UK train stations are a rich source of poorly-written and confusing signs. Take this label, spotted at Reading station.

‘Platform lighting controller’? That’ll be what the rest of us call a light switch.

I can’t think of a single situation where you’d ever describe this as a ‘platform lighting controller’, so why do so here? It just creates confusion.

I particularly like the helpful information beneath: ‘When the indictor [sic] is lit, platform lights are on.’ Spelling error aside, it’s worth knowing that I spotted this label while standing on the platform. So I expect it’s fairly obvious when the lights are on. It would be dark otherwise.

Complicated terminology makes things harder to understand. Unnecessary information detracts from the really important stuff. As labels go, this is a good example of how not to do it.

It all happens in London from 16 – 18 May. I’m on the conference’s ‘Rising Stars’ track, which is both flattering and rather nervewracking, as there are some first-class speakers on the bill – giving me a hell of a lot to live up to.

No pressure then.

As the event is meant to be all about the future of web design, I’m giving a talk called Copywriting is Design. Here’s what it’s about, pulled straight from the blurb I wrote for my bit on the FOWD website:

Copywriting is web design. And it’s about time someone stood up and said so. Because, all too often, the text for a web project ends up being shoehorned in at the last minute. And that can ruin everything.

In this talk, John explains how great copy can make the difference between a design which works, and one that doesn’t. He describes how designers and writers should collaborate to build great web interfaces. He shows how every bit of copy matters – especially when it comes to forms and complex web app interfaces – and highlights some common mistakes.

I’m up just before lunch on 18 May. If you’re coming to FOWD, it’d be great to see you there. Do say hello, even if you don’t make it to my session.

In the meantime, I’m off to do a lot of rehearsing – and some panicking.

I was just flicking back through some old photos on my phone and noticed a couple of headlines I’ve snapped that are too good not to share. The first is from earlier this year, when anchorman Richard Keys left his job at Sky Sports. It’s short, to the point, and absolutely nails the story:

But it’s the second that I’m more impressed with. Cast your mind back to last autumn and one of the year’s rare good news stories.

Now, imagine you’re a sub-editor at The Sun. How are you going to lead on the story? Would it occur to you to take the name of a band, then carefully change a word here and there to result in a headline of wit and beauty?

No, me neither. You might sometimes question the quality of tabloid journalism, but you can’t deny the intelligence of their headlines.

(Read about some other great tabloid headlines that I’ve spotted.)

That’s why I love this flowchart from Jessica Hische. She’s pretty much nailed the decision-making process I go through when considering whether I should give up my time for free.

If you’re a fellow freelancer, read it and laugh, cry or chuckle in that cynical way that only world-weary freelancers can. If you’re a potential client, take a look too – maybe it’ll give you an insight into what life working freelance is like. Or maybe it’ll just give you a laugh. Either’s good.

Large version here. Hat tip to the always-amazing swissmiss.

(Image from Newsbie Pix under a Creative Commons Attribution licence.)

I signed up to Groupon a couple of months ago. Everyone’s been talking about it (if by ‘everyone’ you mean the always-watching-for-the-next-big-thing Twitter crowd), so I thought I’d better give it a go.

A deal a day

The idea behind Groupon is simple and appealing. They send you a different deal each day. When you see one you like, you buy it. But the twist is in the ‘group’ nature of it. Each deal requires a certain number of people to commit to it. When it hits that number, the deal is on.

It’s all about harnessing group buying power to secure big discounts. ‘Up to 90 per cent discount,’ proclaims the site.

It works, but I don’t like it

Groupon works as a concept. It’s huge in the US. It’s been rumoured Google wants to buy the company. In short: it’s successful and people like it.

Yet something about the site has rubbed me up the wrong way. I think it’s all to do with the high proportion of beauty-related offers, and the super-low proportion of stuff I actually want to buy.

In the three months I’ve been signed up I haven’t clicked ‘buy now’ once. And yet my inbox has been crammed full of beauty-related offers that I find completely irrelevant. Here are a few samples:

• An £8.50 fish pedicure. Perhaps I won’t, despite the £11.50 saving.
• £40 for a ‘collagen-boosting IPL treatment and firming mask‘. What?
• A teeth whitening kit for £17. Thanks, but I prefer to use bleach.
• £45 for ‘younger looking skin‘. Is that guaranteed?

Then there’s wrinkle reduction, next generation nails, reflexology – I could go on.

Enough is enough

I was promised great deals that I’d love. But I’ve ended up with a weird hotchpotch of beauty products, none of which are likely to ever appeal to me. As my email was overflowing with stuff I don’t want before I joined Groupon, I’ve decided enough is enough and have unsubscribed.

But I’m still intrigued by the concept. Am I just outside Groupon’s target market, or am I doing something wrong? Have you had a better experience? And if you’ve ever bought from the site, was it something you really wanted, or did you just click ‘buy’ because of the savings?

1. At least people will remember the name

I actually spotted this shop in Hong Kong’s Mong Kok area. With that name, I wonder if they’ve ever considered expanding into the UK.

2. Choiceness raw material

Mmmm, appetising.

3. Protect CircumStance

Spotted on the back of a bin in Shanghai. I guess the sentiment is right, even if the wording could be better. And CircumStance could be a strangely-capitalised web 2.0 brand.

4. …from the small start around

Is this the Chinese equivalent of ‘every little helps’? Actually, I think it’d be great if recycling bins over here were called reverse vending machines.

5. Step into my office

Of all the signs I saw, this was the one that made me laugh out loud. Spotted in a shop in Beijing’s super-cool 798 Space (well worth a visit, by the way). I wonder if the people in the office got more than they bargained for.

However, if you plan on downloading this free software, stay sharp when you’re on the Paint.NET website. Because the link to download isn’t quite as obvious as it seems:

That big ‘DOWNLOAD’ button with the huge green arrow that drags your eyes in and won’t let go? That’s not it.

It is, in fact, an advert. It takes you to www.searchale.com, a site offering ‘the ultimate search tool’ – as far as I can tell, a toolbar you can download and use in your web browser.

I can’t find much other information about the company, apart from this complaint from someone who had the ad appear unexpectedly on their own website. So my advice would be to steer clear.

Oh, the actual download link? It’s up the top there, just beneath the logo:

It’s not hard to see how SearchAle benefits from this advertising. I’m sure there are more people using its toolbar then there would have been otherwise.

I just wonder how many of those people actually wanted it, or even understood what they were downloading.

1. No strinding

Spotted at Chengdu Panda Base. Please, please drop me a line if you know what this means.

2. Don’t visit the head

If you happen to visit the Great Wall at Mutianyu, make sure you don’t lose your head. Or something.

3. LOOKOUTKNOCKHEAD

There must be a lot of concern for people’s heads. Spotted at the Summer Palace.

4. Avoid this restaurant

I think I had a curry with similar after-effects once.

5. The grass is smiling

The Olympic Park in Beijing has various friendly signs encouraging you not to do things.

Don’t forget to check back soon for part two…

We’re really pleased with how it’s turned out, but like all the best websites, that’s not to say it’s finished, of course.

If you browse it at the moment (and please do check the site out), you’ll see that the breadth of information is huge, but the depth is, well, still to come in some areas.

We’re working hard to put that right – and if you know a bit about IT, you might be able to help us and the small businesses that use the site. So get in touch and I’ll explain more.