John McGarvey - writer, web copywriter

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Breaking news - really?

Published

John

on September 20, 2007

in News

. 0 Comments

I just popped BBC Five Live on before heading to bed, and was met with the breaking news that Jose Mourinho is leaving his post as Chelsea manager.

There’s no official word as I write this, but I imagine there’s a good bit of substance to it if the BBC is running the story.

In all likelihood it’ll be filling the airwaves tomorrow, but does it really merit the current prominence on the BBC News homepage? It’s the top story, with a generic “BREAKING NEWS” image.

Call me old fashioned, but I’m not sure a “football manager leaves club” story should ever lead the news - even if it is one of the highest profile managers at one of the world’s biggest clubs.

I just spent twenty minutes…

Published

John

on September 11, 2007

in Websites

. 1 Comment

… writing a post about inappropriate advertising on Facebook. But then Wordpress destroyed all my hard work.

That means you’ll just have to make do with a screenshot of the advert that prompted the rant. I think it speaks for itself. It could’ve come straight from a piece of junk email. Honestly - don’t they have an advertising policy?

Mobile blogging, take two

Published

John

on August 24, 2007

in Technology

. 0 Comments

After my last slightly-abortive attempt at mobile blogging (I blame Vodafone’s data charges), I’m going to try uploading photos to my Flickr account straight from the Reading Festival.

It probably won’t work (there’ll be no coverage or I’ll lose my phone in a moshpit), but if it does, check out all the photos in my Reading Festival set on Flickr. I was planning to pull them straight into this blog, but I’m a bit rusty on the technical side and can’t work out how. Anyone have any tips?

Update: I’m having trouble getting photos to go into a specific set in Flickr, and it’s a pain getting them uploaded anyway, so please check out my mobile blog instead for the latest pics from Reading. Like I said, I haven’t worked out the technical side yet…

A real bargain

Published

John

on August 10, 2007

in Spotted

. 0 Comments

Hot on the heels of yesterday’s excellent piece of product naming, I have some advice for Woolworths. If you’re reducing the price of something, make sure it’s actually a reduction. “Was £1.25, now £1.99″ didn’t strike me as an unmissable deal.

When product names go bad

Published

John

on August 7, 2007

in Naming

. 1 Comment

Sarah Jessica Parker doesn’t seem to have done much since Sex and the City (this isn’t a typical start to a blog posting, I know, but bear with me for a minute).

However, she has launched a couple of perfumes. The first was called ‘Lovely‘. As product names go, this is like launching a car called the Toyota Fast, or flogging bottled water called Damp. I think there’s a slight possibility it’s some sort of parody, but even if it is, that’s just the sort of contrived nonsense only a perfume manufacturer could come up with.

It doesn’t get any better. The second fragrance is called ‘Covet‘. Covet? You’d never buy a mobile phone called the Nokia You Really Want This. And neither should you buy this perfume. If they can’t be bothered thinking up a good name, do you think they took much time worrying about the smell?

If I’m honest, I’m not sure what conclusions to draw from this. I really just wanted to point out a truly dire piece of naming. Lovely? It isn’t. Covet? I don’t. Sarah Jessica Parker should probably stick to acting.

What they really mean, #1

Published

John

on July 29, 2007

in Spotted

. 0 Comments

I spotted this sign in a branch of Budgens in Ealing. Presumably it’s the management’s take on diplomacy.

What it says: “Would customers please refrain from reading newspapers and magazines in the store as this can cause congestion for other shoppers.”

What they really mean: “If you’re not buying, clear off.”

Kill the cuddly copy?

Published

John

on July 14, 2007

in Writing

. 1 Comment

I think Innocent Drinks started the cutesy copy trend. What better way to make your brand seem more friendly, approachable and quirky? It’s why they tell you to “shake it up baby” on their smoothie labels (translation: shake before drinking).

But over the last couple of years it’s taken off. Big time. Everyone wants their brand to be cuddly, and it’s starting to grate a bit.

Why sell sparkling water when you could sell “bumpy water”? Why put up a sign saying a house is sold when you can say it’s been “spoken for”? These are just two examples I’ve spotted in the past couple of weeks.

I think there comes a point when quirky, cutesy copy just looks contrived. Like the bloke in the pub wearing designer gear and talking a bit too loudly, it just makes you cringe.

I’m not saying there isn’t a place for it. But there’s a fine line between looking clever and looking like you’re trying too hard. And right now, I don’t think cutesy copy alone is enough to separate your brand from the competition. So maybe it’s time to find another way to be different.

Online train pains

Published

John

on July 5, 2007

in Websites

. 4 Comments

Buying a train ticket in the UK is fraught with difficulty. There are loads of different ticket types, depending on whether you want to travel at peak time or off-peak, first or standard class, and whether you’d rather buy in advance or at the last minute.

Just in case you weren’t confused enough already, sometimes it’s cheaper to buy a return fare as two separate singles. And it can be even cheaper if you split one single into two separate legs, even if both are on the same train. In short, it’s really difficult to be sure you’re getting the best deal.

This over-complex ticketing system is crying out for a website to make it easier.

Right now, each train company has its own website selling tickets. But most of them are based on the same underlying system - the one that powers TheTrainLine.

It’s really not that intuitive. When I tried to buy a ticket from Reading to Edinburgh earlier today, it gave me a choice of 19 different ticket types, ranging in price from £21 to £184.50. And it presented them in one huge table, with no advice about which would be the best for my circumstances.

Virgin Trains do it a bit better. They have a new website which seems to be bespoke. It claims to show the cheapest prices for your particular circumstances.

It certainly cuts down the number of options, but it’s still far from easy-to-use. You always seem to be several clicks away from actually making a purchase. And changing your journey details is difficult because the site’s not been designed with the ‘back’ button in mind.

Add in a random error or two (”Due to inactivity, this site has timed out. This is for your security.”) and it’s enough to make you queue up at the local ticket office instead.

Truth is, the Virgin site is the best of a bad bunch at the moment. The ticket model is screaming out for a decent online booking service to let you:

Search just for the cheapest fares, or for flexible tickets
View fares over different time periods, so you can see when it’s cheapest to travel
Alert you (via RSS or an email) when the cheap tickets for the dates you want go on sale
Enter a starting point and see the cheapest places to go to for a weekend away

The first train company to sort this one out properly will clean up. They’ve been doing it with plane tickets for yonks - why don’t they just get the people from Skyscanner or Expedia on the case?

Making the trains run on time is another matter altogether, of course…

Facebook flaws?

Published

John

on July 1, 2007

in Websites

. 1 Comment

So back to Facebook. Well, everyone else is talking about it…

A posting by Matthew Stibbe over at Bad Language got me thinking about about the security side of this popular social networking site. Then today I heard that my mum had been a victim of credit card cloning for the second time in a year. As everyone knows, two and two make five, so here’s a blog post combining these issues.

If I was a scammer (I’m not), I’d be seriously looking at Facebook as a potential source of income.

How? I think I’d try to take advantage of people’s natural tendency to want to add ‘friends’. I’d create a fictitious identity and try to add unsuspecting strangers as my friends. I reckon the line “don’t you remember me from school?” would get me surprisingly far.

Once I’ve got someone on my friends list, I’d probably be able to see their birthday in their profile (along with lots of other personal information).

From there, I don’t reckon it’d be too hard to convince some people to let slip a few other personal details.

Place of birth, first pet’s name, partner’s name … before you know it, they’ve given away everything I’d need to do a bit of telephone banking on their behalf.

I’m not sure anyone has tried this yet. But I’m convinced it’s only a matter of time until something like this happens. And so far I don’t remember seeing many security warnings on the site itself.

Don’t get me wrong - Facebook seems pretty addictive, and a great way of staying in touch with your friends. But before you release any personal information on there, just take a moment to think about how many people will be able to see it.

Act on SEO

Published

John

on June 17, 2007

in Search engines

. 0 Comments

The Department for Transport has kicked-off its Act on CO2 campaign, to enourage people to think more about carbon emissions when they’re driving their car, or choosing a new one.

I caught one of the TV ads tonight and the call-to-action at the end was one I’ve not seen before. Instead of telling us to ‘visit actonco2.co.uk for more information’, the commercial directs us to ’search online for act on CO2′.

When you put that phrase into Google, it seems they’ve bagged the top natural search spot, as well as the top sponsored link. Fair enough - they’ve picked a tag line and optimised the site so it’s highly ranked for it.

This approach does make some sense. It’s often easier to remember a phrase instead of a website address, and if you can’t recall the exact wording, a close approximation will often get you there.

But it does leave an obvious route for someone to mount a counter-campaign. A bit of concerted search engine optimisation work could probably push a different site to the top of those Google search results. And then the Department for Transport could find its ads promoting exactly the kind of behaviour they’re trying to discourage.

It would be interesting to hear if they’ve thought of this - and if they think the gains they’ll make from not quoting a specific URL will outweigh the damage done by conflicting websites appearing alongside their own.

(To give you some idea, the Association of British Drivers are already 5th-placed for that term, and I think it’s fair to say that they are slightly sceptical of the whole thing. With some work, I bet they could rise up the rankings.)