Hot on the heels of yesterday’s excellent piece of product naming, I have some advice for Woolworths. If you’re reducing the price of something, make sure it’s actually a reduction. “Was £1.25, now £1.99” didn’t strike me as an unmissable deal.

Sarah Jessica Parker doesn’t seem to have done much since Sex and the City (this isn’t a typical start to a blog posting, I know, but bear with me for a minute).

However, she has launched a couple of perfumes. The first was called ‘Lovely‘. As product names go, this is like launching a car called the Toyota Fast, or flogging bottled water called Damp. I think there’s a slight possibility it’s some sort of parody, but even if it is, that’s just the sort of contrived nonsense only a perfume manufacturer could come up with.

It doesn’t get any better. The second fragrance is called ‘Covet‘. Covet? You’d never buy a mobile phone called the Nokia You Really Want This. And neither should you buy this perfume. If they can’t be bothered thinking up a good name, do you think they took much time worrying about the smell?

If I’m honest, I’m not sure what conclusions to draw from this. I really just wanted to point out a truly dire piece of naming. Lovely? It isn’t. Covet? I don’t. Sarah Jessica Parker should probably stick to acting.

I spotted this sign in a branch of Budgens in Ealing. Presumably it’s the management’s take on diplomacy.

What it says: “Would customers please refrain from reading newspapers and magazines in the store as this can cause congestion for other shoppers.”

What they really mean: “If you’re not buying, clear off.”