John McGarvey – web copywriter

Registration forms can have you tearing your hair out. They want every personal detail known to man, moan if you don’t enter them in exactly the right format – and throw up hopelessly vague errors if you get anything wrong.

There truly are some shockers out there. And that’s probably why the good ones stick in your head.

I stumbled upon one just the other day. The sign up form for WordPress.com really is a thing of beauty. It’s clear, straightforward, and only asks you to type in four bits of information.

What’s more, it includes this delightfully playful text that sums up just what we all really think about agreeing to terms and conditions:

“Legal flotsam: I have read and agree to the fascinating terms of service”

I wonder how they got that one past the legal team. Nice work, WordPress.

It’s never been easier to find photos for your website. Pile-’em-high-sell-’em-cheap stock photography companies like iStockPhoto, Shutterstock and Fotolia allow you to purchase photos for as little as a pound or two.

These sites have drastically cut the cost of getting hold of images without worrying about copyright issues. I use them, so I should know. But there’s one big problem: when you pay so little, you don’t get any control over who else uses the photos.

Those images are sold again and again and again. Some of them are exceptionally popular – and that can spell embarrassment for your website.

I’ve trawled iStockPhoto – one of the biggest stock imagery sites – to bring you these five examples of stock photography that’s been rather, well, overexposed. If you’re looking for images to illustrate your website, steer well clear of these.

From web hosting to chief marketing officer

Plenty of websites seem to like the look of this lady. When she’s not urging you to “get more now” over at Midphase Hosting, she’s also putting in an appearance at Data102, a Colorado Springs hosting centre.

Then there’s marketing. She’s been standing in as a chief marketing officer for Brand Week – and been involved in this article about self branding. Busy lady.

A tired metaphor for growth

If you’re growing a business, here’s one visual metaphor you might want to steer clear of. It’s a very well-trodden path, you see. It might have been Clydesdale Ventures that first used this image. Or maybe it was Ian Brodie. Or Accelerate Media.

In hard copy, the books Recession Thriving and Trading Pain for Peace both have strikingly similar covers. Those green shoots of recovery are certainly spreading. Continue reading ‘Porn, pharmacies and phone sex. Who’s using the photos on your website?’

I had dinner in a Giraffe restaurant the other night. You know the places: friendly staff, reasonable food, good value – and plenty of two-for-one vouchers available online.

In fact, their whole website is pretty decent, and they understand how to use Twitter too.

Anyway, towards the end of the evening I did the usual um-and-er over dessert thing, until spotting the cheesecake on the menu. Had it just been “chocolate cheesecake”, I might have declined. But “milky double bubble chocolate cheesecake”? How could I say no?

That’s the power of good copywriting.

Some years ago I worked as a web editor for an IT firm. We used to run occasional competitions. One of the best parts of that job was phoning people up to tell them they’d won a prize – a PC or games console, say.

We always used to put quite a lot of thought into what to give away. We wanted things that would be eyecatching and useful too. We didn’t really want our competition winners to go sticking what they’d won straight up on eBay.

That job would be much easier today. There’s only one prize that anyone who’s anyone is giving away at the moment: Apple’s iPad.

I’ve come to this conclusion after noticing a spate of tweets, adverts, emails and websites, all promoting competitions to win the giant iPhone. And it really is quite astounding how many websites are giving this gadget away.

Unbeatable, Bitter Wallet, Pocket Lint, UK2,  Review Centre, T3 and Travolution. All these are UK-based sites, giving away a gadget which isn’t even officially available in the UK yet. When you widen it to US sites, it just gets silly.

Try Dummies.com, Zagg, SEOMOZ, Mashable, Symantec, Digg, PCMag and authorStream for starters. So many companies are giving the things away that there must be a danger of a shortage for ordinary buyers.

This got me thinking. Could the number of competitions offering a given item as a prize be indicative of the appeal of that prize? And if so, could companies use this statistic as some form of market research?

(Image courtesy of Apple.)

I like it when restaurants take the time to get their branding right. It implies a similar amount of effort has gone in to the food.

I had a meal in a Reading eaterie a couple of weeks ago. The bill turned up with this witty “with condiments” card, which perfectly fit the modern, relaxed feel of the place, and made me chuckle.

As it turned out the food was excellent, but if it hadn’t been, at least the clever copywriting would’ve gone some way to making up for it.

Here’s a poster I spotted stuck up in a station the other day. It’s an advert for an Oxfam fundraising event – a 100km, non-stop trek for charity. And I think the headline does the advert proud: “Blistering”.

It makes you want to know more, then as you read the rest of the text, the double meaning (is it about blistered feet, or the speedy pace of your trekking?) makes you smile.

And, of course, it grabs your attention. Or it would, if the dark green text on light green background, badly stuck up rippled paper and dodgy reflection on the glass didn’t render it all but unreadable from distance.

Honestly, what a waste of an excellent piece of copywriting. I get quite annoyed when I see good work treated this way.

Directory enquiries service 118118.com has traditionally relied on hairy athletes, a reworking of the theme tune from Rocky and promotional stunts involving handing out “118″ jogging vests for advertising.

However, this market is a crowded one, so maybe it’s no surprise that as well as broadening its services to include restaurant reservations and cinema listings, 118118.com has started to try a new tack with its advertising.

I spotted the advert pictured above on the tube the other day. It made me chuckle when I saw it, and I think it works well for three reasons:

• It fits the location. I saw this particular advert on the Bakerloo Line and it features a reimagined tube map. That’s clearly not a coincidence.
• It’s bang on for an audience of Londoners. Seeing the renamed station Piccalilli Circus will surely raise a smile, even on the humourless tube.
• It keeps the elements of whimsy and fun that are so crucial to the brand. Ever since those joggers, 118118 has tried to have fun.

As an effort to wrestle market share away from the other 118-alikes, I think this is a good attempt. Have any adverts caught your eye lately?

We’ve all done it: followed a link from a website, only to be met with those three words of dread: page not found. How frustrating – particularly if you clicked a really juicy-sounding link to get there.

When you get misdirected in this way, it’s doubly annoying if you hit a total dead end. No links, no search box and no navigation? All you can do is give up and retrace your steps by clicking back.

Kudos, then, to websites which turn the humble page not found message into something useful and entertaining.

Take the BBC’s effort. With a friendly message explaining what happened, a link to the main site navigation and a search box there are plenty of places to go next. Good.

They’ve really upped the ante with the visuals though, alluding to the BBC’s long history by adapting the old fashioned test card for the web.

This means a lot to those of us over a certain age. It takes us back to the days when TV used to close down overnight, so if you got up early enough there’d be nothing to watch except this slightly strange picture of a girl and a clown.

It plays on our nostalgia and makes us smile unexpectedly, turning a bad experience (not arriving at the page we expected) into a reasonably good one.

Have you spotted any other good error pages online? I’m thinking of compiling a list, so please leave a comment if so.

I spotted this notice getting off the train the other day.

The First Great Western tagline seems to be “transforming travel”. And perhaps they are.

But sticking it on what amounts to an out of order sign for the toilet doesn’t seem to project the intended impression of their brand.

Transforming travel? What, one broken loo at a time?

Big companies love their taglines. It’s a shame they don’t always use a bit of commonsense when deciding where they should be displayed.

Don’t they say it’s the little things that count? Well, nothing makes me smile more than spotting some text that someone’s really taken time and care over – despite it being displayed in a seemingly unimportant or innocuous location (ok, actually some things do make me smile more, but bear with me here).

Take these sugar packets I spotted at a cafe in Oxford. Ropey pictures aside, aren’t they delightful?

It’s hard to argue that text on the back of a sachet constitutes a vital part of a company’s branding. And yet it’s equally hard to deny the effect it has: when customers notice their sugar packet says “rattle in background for atmos” on the back,  it helps set that particular cafe apart from the countless others that line Oxford’s touristy streets.

The lesson here? Small things matter too. A piece of well-placed text can make your brand stand out in people’s minds. I know where I’ll head for lunch next time I’m in Oxford.